No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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