seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
