Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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