Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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