In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Operation Purity has been aborted
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I got inside last night via doggy door
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
