Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
