Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
