I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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