it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
