just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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