Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
