dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
