Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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