the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
