I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Actions speak louder than pants.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
