Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
We need to rekindle our bromance
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I have already put on my inside pants.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
