It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Is Oprah even human
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
