the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
