You're completely useless in the revolution.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You're a waste of cheezeits
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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