that's an acceptable place to lick
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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