would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
