Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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