im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
