I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
it's like heaven, but drunker
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
