Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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