butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
