Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
