No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
