Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
