Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
