I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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