i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
