I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
