I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
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