you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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