She is in my trunk
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
