im about as happy as oj after his trial
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
