I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
