Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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