You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
