; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
is wine microwaveable?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
