I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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