How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
