We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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