i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
