Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
