I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
