Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
