we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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