I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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